2/503d VIETNAM Newsletter - August 2009, Issue 3

2/503d VIETNAM Newsletter 10 August 2009 / Issue 3 __________________________________________________________________________________________ PTSD, me? No way! That’s bullshit!! A typical combat soldier during the war in Vietnam would find himself today in a firefight in some rice paddy, jungle or mountain range. Two days later he was walking the streets of San Francisco with the dirt of the battlefield still on his skin. No one was there to welcome him, to thank him; no one there to defuse the angst built-up inside from a year or two or more of combat….nada, not a soul. Many of us kissed the tarmac at the airport – we welcomed ourselves home. For years our government failed or refused to recognize and treat the unique systems of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, suffered by countless veterans of our war. These symptoms include but are not limited to: - Gross impairment in thought processes or communication; - Persistent delusions or hallucinations and grossly inappropriate behavior; - Persistent danger of hurting one’s self or others, including periods of violence or the threat of violence; - Intermittent inability to perform activities of daily living - paranoia; - Disorientation to time or place, and memory loss, exaggerated startle response; - Deficiencies in work, family and/or social relations, judgment, thinking and/or mood - sleep apnea; - Suicide or homicide ideation; obsession with rituals, panic attacks, depression, and nightmares; - Hyper-vigilance, overly and abnormally aware of your safety and surroundings and the safety of your spouse and children, but in a smothering way. Lifelong stressors the survivors take from their war experience go well beyond the list above. These stressors may lay hidden and dormant for many, many years, choosing to raise their ugly heads at the most inopportune times in the lives of these former warriors. Whether called shell shock, battle fatigue or PTSD, they are all an evil gift given to those who warred. And, one of the most guileful of these stressors is guilt. This guilt can come from many different quarters. What act did I commit which plagues me today? What act did I not commit which could have saved lives? Could I have been better, braver? Do I really wish to focus on the reality of the uninvited war our nation and I imposed on other people? And the most insidious of all…why did I live when others did not? Perhaps good buddy, Jim Healy A/2/503, said it best when he spoke of surviving one particularly fierce battle our unit was in which occurred in February of 1966. For years after the battle Jim asked himself: “ W hy was I spared injury when so many brave and better men around me were killed or wounded? “ The only answer Healy has been able to come up with is: “ J ust pure luck. Neither bullets nor shrapnel swerve to avoid hitting the ‘good’, nor do they change direction to seek out the ‘bad’. They just simply fly in their trajectory and hit whatever may be in their path. While being good at your job may give you the slight edge, the determining factor is luck. That’s what makes combat death seem so arbitrary, random and unfair.” (Vietnam magazine). Page 1 of 8